


Not necessary

by orphan_account



Series: Using Inators to Get Together [4]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Not dialogue heavy, first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Perry the Platypus was his nemesis, his friend, his partner. It wasn’t unexpected when that initial irritating admiration became adoration. When the realization of his fondness didn’t arouse panic in him, there was another thought that did. If anyone could make Doofenshmirtz good, it was Perry.





	Not necessary

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very self-indulgent work that is also my first fanfic. I'm not quite satisfied with the pacing and the prompt sort of strayed from what I initially was going for, but it's a starting point!

Doofenshmirtz, for all his declaration of dedication towards evil, found himself floundering when he ever really considered his own mortality. 

Being evil should have come easy to him. It certainly wasn’t difficult for his family, so willing to risk and abandon him, for the world that ostracized him, for the lovers that left him without a second of hesitation. He had grown assuming the worst of everyone, a bitterness that eroded his trust with every betrayal. The world taunted him with its cruelty that weighed heavy upon him. That should have made his descent into evil easy.  
But it never quite felt as natural as it SHOULD have. Sure, there were moments when he reveled in it, the process of creating, the satisfaction he could find in the satisfaction of revenge in the rare moments when his plans worked out, getting to have a nemesis who visited him daily. Having a nemesis who would push him, challenge him, and make his heart race and body ache in a reminder that he was alive. Despite everything, everyone, he was alive. A nemesis who would always return, who reminded him of humanity. Really, Perry was more of a motivator than Doofenshmirtz knew how to admit. For as much as he talked, Heinz always seemed to be at a loss for words when those intimate emotions surfaced in his mind. There was something comforting in their dynamic that kept him grounded. Perry understood him. A very complex dynamic for a nemesis relationship to hold.  
Perry was the one to foil his creations, thwart him without hesitation (usually), but he was also the friend Doofenshmirtz invited for Movie Monday. He was the one who would ground him when he spiraled in one of those trauma induced frenzies. He was the one who would help him with his dear Vanessa when he couldn’t quite comprehend the complexities of a teenage girl. Who cared enough to understand his needs and wants. Perry the Platypus was his nemesis, his friend, his partner. It wasn’t unexpected when that initial irritating admiration became adoration. When the realization of his fondness didn’t arouse panic in him, there was another thought that did. If anyone could make Doofenshmirtz good, it was Perry.  
It was hard to not linger on these thoughts some nights, with a blooming bruise from a well-placed kick from the agent throbbing, reminding him of the heated battles they shared. For what it looked like to others, it never felt malicious. They had their system. It was more an act of sentimental intimacy by now, a sort of dance they performed. And they both loved it plenty.  
Licking dry lips, Doofenshmirtz sat up within his bed, distant sounds of the harbor echoing. Shuffling to the kitchen, with only the brief and painful annoyance of stubbing his toe on a table, he let a cool glass of water try and soothe his mind. Too many nights now he had let himself lay sleepless and floundering over this existential dread. At some point, he would have to face the reality of his situation. It’s not like Doofenshmirtz ever was particularly subtle anyhow, and that paired with the fact how Perry could read him like a book meant it was going to come up in one way or another.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It had been three days approximately since Doofenshmirtz had a particular realization regarding his emotions towards Perry the Platypus, his nemesis. Of course, it wasn’t as though it came out of nowhere, this had been building between them for years. At some point, there was just a break, a point where there was no way to not acknowledge it any longer. Even though the incident was as routine for them as usual. It was romcom night, a movie Perry was introducing him to, both of them eased into the couch comfortably, the agent leaning against Heinz casually. He couldn’t even count how many times they were sat exactly like this, essentially cuddling.  
How had they come together so seamlessly?  
At some point, when the absurdly overt couple reconciled from a dramatic understanding with a kiss, Heinz became very aware of how Perry’s hand brushed against his. Perry the platypus was capable so easily to ease between the lines of battle and these shared gentle nights. For all his suave, mysterious, brutal and intellectual traits was a softer, kinder, loving side he slowly began to reveal.  
It was in the midst of this careful admiration that Heinz became vividly, truly aware of just how his heart raced with a simple glance towards his nemesis. There was an explicit sudden consciousness in the way he tenderly gazed at the platypus. The platypus who he shared his deepest, most vulnerable moments with. Who he trusted to return daily despite the trouble he caused.  
He swallowed hard, cheeks flushing a bright shade. He was lucky that the movie was nearly over, he could shoo out Perry easily for the night, giving him a weekend to ponder over what exactly to do.  
“Well, Perry the Platypus, it’s getting late, and I know you’re picky about going out in time to do whatever it is when you aren’t, y’know, here,” Doofenshmirtz knew he was wringing his hands. Perry raised a brow at him but didn’t press on Heinz’s sudden sheepishness for the moment. (He didn’t want to stay out too late and worry Phineas and Ferb, after all).  
“Right, right, I’ll see you this Monday, and by the way, you seriously need to start using your key. I gave that thing to you for a reason, you know. It’s rude and expensive to replace all those doors you keep destroying,” he rambled on, leading Perry out towards the door, finally relenting as the agent tipped his hat Heinz’s way. He tried to not think about how ridiculously cute that really was.  
By Sunday evening he was still left as restless as ever by the prospect of knowing he would be facing Perry again tomorrow, who would be expecting the usual thwarting. So… why not incorporate the familiar into the risky? Heinz did well with that. He did well with Inators.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

He spent the night creating the Infatuatinator, a rather clever method of asking out your nemesis if you asked Doofenshmirtz. That was more or less the best way he knew to go about this mess. It was a simple enough machine, though he adorned it with the usual flare of being a large laser. It would only incite the chemical response of endorphins, pretty basic stuff, not any that could truly cause his nemesis to do something he didn’t want to. Heinz wasn’t about to force anything upon the platypus, after all, he had standards for his evil-hood.  
It was only a matter of time, the hours turning to minutes till he arrived. It was long enough for him to imagine every possible worst-case scenario. It was better to be prepared for the worst anyhow.  
He heard Perry approach the door quickly before promptly knocking it down. Of course. Heinz did make a noise of admonishment at that, meanwhile, as Perry approached his set trap was triggered to hold his nemesis in place while Doofenshmirtz began his speech. Their typical. “Perry the Platypus, what did I just tell you about the door? Seriously! I would say it was unexpected, but it was completely expected!” And he didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed! Heinz huffed, crossing his arms before finally turning back towards his inator. 

“Anyways, Perry the Platypus, behold, the Infatuatinator!” He waited for a beat, grinning as he motioned to the machine, “You see, I haven’t had the… best of luck in the realm of romance. Which is partially your fault, by the way! But, the more I’ve been thinking about it, how it would be like to get back into dating and all and what a chore it would be I realized something! There’s someone I already have around that, well, I want to have something with. Something that will actually last! So the Infatuatinator will be here to, you know, nudge things in the right direction. With a laser.”  
He already knew by now Perry was beginning to get himself free with whatever gadget or trick he had today as he had his monologue. He was proved right as he began to maneuver the machine and was promptly kicked in the face, initiating their fight. Heinz huffed, fists beginning to fly to try and retaliate against the agent, to avoid him destroying it before he could reveal who it was for exactly. Their usual tussling was as rough as ever, but Heinz took the chance he got when he was knocked down near his intator to rush to his feet, grabbing it and aiming it towards his nemesis, who was still in a fighting position.  
“Perry the Platypus, will you wait one second for me to actually shoot you with this thing?” That was as elegant of asking him out as they were going to get right now. Perry’s brows were still furrowed, fists not falling, but he paused as he processed whatever Heinz was actually insinuating. After a moment he cautiously pointed a finger towards himself questioningly. 

“Yes, you! I was hoping to shoot you before all the punching and kicking and ask you out without a black eye,” he placed his hands upon his hips, but the complaining was clearly not particularly sincere. He was making every effort to keep up their usual banter to cushion whatever response to come was. At least Perry finally relaxed from his offensive position, though he glanced around for a moment, looking somewhat awkward. He finally glanced back up towards Heinz, padding over while the evil scientist took a deep breath and got ready to perform the lengthy speech he prepared for when he was rejected.  
Instead, he felt the furry paw of Perry grab hold of his, gentler than he expected. Doofenshmirtz blinked, eyes wide in a sort of wonder, “Perry the platypus?” Perry nodded, the motion meaningful.  
He said yes.  
“Really, Perry the platypus? You’ll go on a date with me?” The disbelief and hope were evident in his voice. Perry nodded again, smiling now. Heinz couldn’t help but laugh in relief, grinning as his mind already began running through on what to do for their first date.  
Perry meanwhile led his nemesis away from the machine as he joyfully processed the response and began to spout off some exciting ideas and plans. Perry made sure to hit the conveniently placed self-destruct button on the machine with his tail as he got them out of explosion range. Doofenshmirtz wasn’t quite as upset about the loss of his latest inator, considering it wasn’t even necessary.


End file.
